Hospitality Recruiters see many qualified management candiates lose their “Relationships Do Not Matter.”

This may be the most damaging lie. If you do not feel that relationships matter then you will not invest time needed to become a highly effective person. You will not fix your bad habits. You will not invest in self-discovery. The less cognitive you are, the more emotional you are. Your strengths will slowly erode.

People who do not value relationships become frustrated, angry, and depressed more often then people who feel that relationships are something worth working for.

I have coached managers who mistakenly thought they were good at managing employee relations. They felt that talking to people on the floor, smiling, and asking them about their lives was enough. If you don’t value relationships, then you may feel this is enough. But do you actually listen? Active listening is the strongest management skill that you can have.

“My Job is to Manage”

This is wrong. Your job is to make the company money. Your job is to lower expenses and increase Return On Investment.  To do your job you need to be a negotiator, coach, project manager, financial planner, forecaster,

But more important is your perception of the word manage. If you think it means ‘telling other people what to do’ then your in for a very short, or low paid career. Recruiters won’t be able to find you good jobs, and you’ll wonder why job interviews never call back.

When you read ‘attitude’ is everything it doesn’t mean having a good attitude. Everyone thinks they have a good attitude. As a career coach I can tell you that only about 10% of all management candidates have a good attitude. Most of them are hungry, egocentric, and dismissive. Their focus is on their success. A good manager needs to nurture people around them in a manner that gets the work done.

Everyone has a job to do, and they cannot do it if someone is micromanaging them. A good manager not only works with people and helps them do their job well, but they are willing to listen when the lowest person on their team feels safe enough to tell you when you are wrong.

“Failure will cost me my job.”

Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will.

A good manager doesn’t fear failure, but they have developed a pro-active management strategy that enables them to spot failures in the making and divert problems. If they can’t, they have a second or even third contingency plan.

A manager will also make their team aware of the importance of success. They will make everyone on the team responsible for success, even if it is just one part. When everyone is responsible for the failure and success of a business then they give 100%. This is especially true if they share in the glory.

“I need to model myself after ______”

Be yourself. What is your leadership and management style. Don’t fear being yourself. You have strengths and weaknesses. Are you better with financial reports? Maybe your not good with numbers or people, but you can manage intangibles. Build on your strengths, not someone else’s.

The problem with modeling yourself after someone else is that you rarely can see, or measure, what makes them a success. Instead, we often see what makes them weak. When we meet a person, or work with them, we see what they want us to see. We see the part that is assertive and authoritative. It is difficult to ‘see’ someone’s ability to ‘listen between the lines.’

We see their ‘quick answers.’  We may watch them assert themselves to keep employees inline, or fire someone quickly without mentoring, correcting, coaching. But what we are seeing is the symptoms. We don’t see the months invested in finding a solution, or watching for motives, supporting through problems. It is these imperceptible aspects that we cannot see.

In the end, all we become is a faded copy of the original.

“If you can’t measure it, ignore it.”

There are very few managers that can handle the intangible. That can envision casualty to shape the inevitable. The things that matter most to business growth are not measurable. Profit and losses are built on an invisible platform of ‘if’ people respond emotionally to this product then cash will change hands. ‘When’ that happens, other things will happen.  Even the whole concept of management is an intangible.

According to Forbes, ‘An addiction to yardstick isn’t a sign of leadership – but rather of fear-based, old-school, factory-style supervision.)

There are many intangibles in business that require management, from customer ‘emotional’ satisfaction, to crisis management.

The second problem with this ‘If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.’ Believe is the fact that it keeps you distracted by the ‘tasks’ needed done, and you miss the opportunities. To hire a talented person with passion and dedication, and then chain them to repetitious bureaucracy time swallowing tasks is the height of stupidity.

Business does not run on policies, guidelines, and rules. These things swallow creativity and spit out mediocrity.

The opposite attitude is that ‘the important things cannot be measured.’ This is not true either. Financials are the life blood of a business. This attitude has a tendency to lead a manager into valuing emotions, over cognitive. They start pegging their benchmarks to things that are fluid.

Each manager needs to determine what is important to them and manage it. Collaboration, cash flow, employee retention, customer service, time management, career capital, all of these can be measured and managed. Maybe not with a yard stick, but they can be measured and managed in other ways.

Measurements stop the action. They stop the flow. Productivity slows when we need to keep checking the measuring stick. If your management style is wrapped around measurement then your ‘fear based’ style of managing will limit your opportunities.

These few ideas offer a few reasons why beliefs can stall a manger’s career and will give you an opportunity to change your management style, and increase your chances of moving up the corporate ladder.

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